The last visit...

The native place is always tied to grandparents. After them, it is uncles and aunts who live near it. When they pass away, the tie with the native too pass.

I visited my uncle's home last week to pay respect to him. My intuition was saying to me this will be my last visit to my native, though logically it is not correct. When I have a conflict like this, I postpone the emotion till it is time to face it and carry on with my work.

It is my duty, no doubt, I have to visit. I started from home with the conflicted emotion. My face was like ginger eaten monkey's face. lol. The joy of being a narcissist slayer is that my face reflects the emotion. I can not hide behind the people pleaser's face.

Usually, when crossing the landmarks one by one near the native, I would feel joy as a kid. This time, I did not feel any emotion. And my mind started to get cleared. My face started to become normal. This is not hurting, even if it will be the last visit to the native, I thought.

Met my cousins after many years, and had a group therapy session. lol

I thought their house would be filled with so many relatives. And was surprised to see no relatives were there. Planned to spend a few minutes if it is crowded, but spent more time as nobody was there.

Times are changing. And we talked at what point a human starts to change. When a loving father starts to hate his own child? We discussed that in the group. Maybe from middle age we discussed, but still can not pinpoint the exact time as the change process happens gradually.

And I said to my cousins, we share the genes, and we are in mid age, we may also change unless we monitor ourselves. If we all change and meet again after few years it like my updated version meeting their updated version. Did I prove that the title is right? Sigh... lol

Stranger...

 As a narcissist slayer, I have changed certain things. Body language, posture and tone. Otherwise, it will be tough to outsmart them. And I forgot I was an ordinary empath, that sounds like a long time ago.

Feb 7, I was in the bank waiting. Usually, that is like a seasonal depressive movement, and this time I did not feel like that. My situations are the same,  but I have become a narcissist slayer. I was conducting an emotional evaluation with myself to pass the time. And the stranger started to talk to me. I think it is a logical move when a person shares their problems with a stranger. You won't meet them again, and they can't use that information. So I listened. 

First, he listed certain things and said these are my problems. And I said, these are not problems. He looked at me, then continued. He did not refuse or agree. After a few minutes of chat, he listened to his achievements. And I thought, this person is telling lies from the start. Am I looking like a stupid?! His list of achievements is the problem. I did not say anything, and he avoided eye contact. We talked few minutes. Usually, narcissists create an illusion, and they make you believe it. But this person was creating an illusion for himself. And I understood one important psychological concept I read. The human brain creates illusions, stories to avoid pain and to survive. And during that conversation, I saw him understand his illusions. There was a fear when the truth hit him and the pain and then a different emotion in his eyes. My brain searched all recorded emotions and found it an emotion you show in front of God. I really don;t know how to react. I don't know how to smile like a Goddess. After all I watch only ghost movies. lol. I recollected my people pleaser smile. I tried my best smile.

For the readers, so far, it looked like I did something good.

Actually, I learned a few things. When we discuss our problems with certain people, the collective consciousness works and solutions can be felt/realised.

Usually, when a narcissist sees their truth, they get angry. When a wise person sees their truth, they feel grateful.

The stranger, how fast he recovered, showed gratitude, that is maturity, that is humbleness. I don't know whether I will reach that level in this birth.

Vampire Diaries...

 It is not about vampires and humans.  I just gave a catchy title. 😇

Different personalities can't be friends. An empath and a narcissist can't be friends.

My neighbor was very keen to share her troubles. She and her mom were checking whether I am healthy. And finally, she came and said stories about how her shoulder and neck are aching and the physiotherapists she is visiting.  I gave her the expected reply. (I use both hands to type in computer(lol... everybody does that, but those who use computers recently will be typing in one hand). She was asking about visiting places. I did not show interest. 

She took me out saying we will go for half an hour drive and took me for a heavy dinner when I was in diet. In her diary she should have mentioned this incident as I took my neighbor for a surprise dinner. Now she is having the hobby of visiting physiotherapists and keen to introduce that hobby to me. I can't imagine getting treatment for shoulder pain without having it. lol. She may be planning to write in her diary that she took her neighbor to physiotherapist and ease her pain.

Only in series vampire and human can be friends. In real life empath and a narcissist can not be friends. There will be some attraction as they are opposites. 

I should write about women's health next...