Stalker...

 My neighbour's narcissistic mom always waits for me to come out of my home in the morning to talk or troll. Nowadays, I troll her. lol. She asked me, " Have you reached your goal? and I asked, which goal(Now she will try to find out all my goals.) She was very eager to know my weight loss goals and I said I could not talk about it.😇

After a few minutes, I went to the market. A person came to me, introduced himself, and talked. Oh my God, one of my online students' father. It was really sweet as the course was for 2 to 3 months only. I have never met my online students in person, but today met a student's father. It was strange and I had never imagined it.

These 2 incidents happened within a few minutes. 1st only tried to troll and the 2nd one showed appreciation and affection.

I did not meet my narcissist neighbour as she will list out her health problems, thinking I am a gynaecologist. Then I have to study the symptoms for 4 to 5 hours on the internet. I didn't have time for that and avoided it.

Cinema, the drama...

 In recent days on social media, one news item is very popular or getting more views. One famous movie actor decided to stop acting and enter politics. At the same time he have to face divorce and the drama by his father.

I always thought previous generation parents have more ego, narcissistic nature in them. They always perceive their sons and daughters as their extended part and need their guidance to survive in this world. You can not escape from them even if you are 50+ lol.

Actor made some career choices, and the whole media started to blame him. And in addition to that his father said to the press people, my son is innocent, he dont know what he is doing. I am talking about this because I care about him(To me this don't look like care. That too when the actor is 50+. He attended a function with an actress, which triggered his father to give this statement) 

This is an example to know that the most cruel things to a person are done by their parents and family, not by the world.

A person has to survive this type of cruel things, balance their mind and if possible, should find happiness.

Sometimes this type of treatment by the parents makes their children become narcissistic like them.

Anyhow, everybody wont have the awareness to understand it. Ignorance is bliss as long as you stay ignorant. lol.

How individuation happens?

 When a person faced traumatic experience or during mid life crisis, when their hormones are unstable. For males, it is gradual, and for females, the process is fast. One can miss many things in their life, but like death, it is a certainty.

Does everybody face the difficulty? This is where your personality type, family situation and work environment play a crucial part.

From my observation, females who are type A personalities(they are more competitive), who have narcissists in their family or who face a tough work environment, face it severely.

Why?

Before midlife when cortisol levels increase, your body can handle it. But during hormone cocktail times, your body becomes weak. And your body produces the same cortisol spikes even when you are calm. And it starts to affect the body parts. The hormone spikes have the ability to make your first language as your second and vice versa. lol. You would have seen the world with one perspective, and now you get the 360-degree view. And it changes you. You won't be the same person again. This is how a people pleaser became a narcissist slayer.

In this duration, if you develop awareness, the integration will be good. Otherwise, you can become a bitter or cunning person. Though Carl Jung said this as integration of the shadow, I call it as integration of feminine and masculine energy. You will be surprised by your new identity. It is similar to marriage. You give equal(!) rights. I gave 100% rights to my masculine power and changed my personality. Once you get used to the new power, start to integrate both. These things will take years.

The women who succeed this duration have created history in their careers and their personal lives.

At the same time, I have seen people destroying their marriage without knowing they are changing. 

Don't destroy anything; understand you are changing.

The world, you can see it now with a new lens, eyes and experience it differently.