See the image, anything special in it?

 This is what I thought when I saw that lady's reaction.

As I don't like to be followed by goats and cows, I changed my walking route to residential areas where I can walk in a place with trees on both sides. And that is how I found that temple.

I usually smile when I see any female in the temple. After a few days of smiling, usually people like to go to the next level. That is talking about why they visit the temple and all.

One old lady asked me why you are visiting this temple when you have temples near your house. And I said here God's face is beautiful. That's why. lol. Then I added that seeing God's face, my mind becomes calm. The old lady blessed me. 

Another day, another lady entered the temple when I was leaving. She looked at my legin and I could see her jealousy. She wanted to start a conversation and asked what is your husband doing? You don't have to be Sherlock Homes to know whether a female is married or not. I said I am not married. I understand she asked that question to make me upset. At that time a female monk came near us. She should have thought to rescue me. We asked the temple open and close time from her. Then that lady asked me what work you are doing. I answered in a few words and said I have to start my work in a few minutes and see you some other time. I made her feel that I was financially independent, but she is not.

I find a similarity between my neighbour narcissist in her.

Narcissist always start with a question to prove that they have something special which we don't have. Though I did not think too much at that time, I made her feel she didn't have everything. lol. That is why I am a narcissist slayer.

Anybody can buy and wear a legin, what is there to feel jealous? I don't understand.

I changed my time slot a bit earlier to visit the temple so that I will be free from these talks. But once in a while I plan to visit when they visit as it is really interesting to see people's emotion when they see a stranger.

Myths or Facts?

 Sometimes I think a lot. Now also I was thinking what to write as I have so many things. But I can choose only a few.

I learned a lot about my personality type from the internet. It says my type of people are visionaries, long-term thinkers. I don't know whether I think like that. But I thought, let me try it anyway. I selected my specimen(naricssist neighbour for that). lol.

As usual, she only talks about something. And last time she asked about Peacock University. I told her that I am trying for this job at my company, so I cannot continue my studies at Peacock University. I am already in that job; she doesn't know that, though. I will tell stories about my hardwork in getting qualified for it if she continues to communicate with me. And finally I will tell her I got the job. This is how I think in the long term. 😊 Start by using this technique to look like a Long term thinker/ Visionary. It is like copying a technique, till you gain expertise in it to have a uniqueness.

Everybody likes my personality type?!

Nope... A big no. Most people are insecure about themselves. And when they come near me, they can feel they are less than me and start to hate me in seconds, especially a narcissist. My growth as a person developed when I accepted the fact that I can not please everybody and feel okay if a person doesn't like me.

Did babies and animals get attracted to me and calm when I am near?

Yes, as they see me as a potential candidate to dominate. 😇

When I started walking as a daily ritual, I walked in the places where goats eat grass. One day all the goats started to follow me. I thought, oh my God, goats are thinking I am Jesus. lol. Most of the pictures I saw, Jesus was holding a goat in his lap. 

As the goats are following me, I feel like a pied piper. I wanted to check whether the goats can hear my mind voice. I told myself, "I had mutton yesterday. I can eat you too" No reaction from them. lol 

Then I understand, they are watching me daily and they can identify me. Since I am familiar to them they followed me to know how it feels to walk without grazing.

My personality type is humble

Yes. Even goats can identify me. But I can see them as black sheep, white sheep. And goats are more brilliant than me in a very few ways, as I can not identify them by their face. 😇 This way, the Universe humbles me always.

I found you...

 Shadow integration is not an easy thing. Most people will integrate their light side. Very few will integrate their dark. Life is a mess if the integration is not proper. That is why many find it tough to handle their life in their mid-ages.

During my childhood, I was fond of a friendly God. We have temples for him everywhere. Once I started to integrate shadow, I felt an attraction towards the commander-in-chief of the celestial armies. But I don't want to travel to famous temples to meet him. lol.

I was thinking I should find a temple near me where I can walk. During my walk I saw a temple, but thought it would be the friendly God. I walked past it for two days without giving a second thought. And 3rd day when I crossed the temple, the sun's rays struck his weapon and bounced back in a dazzling shimmer. I noticed it. I entered the temple and saw him. Viola, he is the same one as per my expectation. And I said to him, "I found you" with a smile.(Of course, it is a mind voice). And he said, I wanted you to find me. 😇

People ask so many things from God. But I use this ritual to remind me daily about individuation. Finding this small temple pulled some old memories.

Monks. I have met the monks. Jay Shetty(author of think like a monk) and The monk who sold his Ferrari have met monks. But their experience is entirely different.

To me, monks are ordinary human beings like us. They choose to be a monk as a major life decision. They belong to private missions or organisations. They work in missions. They also have competition, designation, ego etc. I remember the sadhu(monk) who built the temple. He visited our house once. Later came to know he resigned from that organization as he did not get a promotion. He joined another organisation later. I have heard his lectures about "karma yoga" from Bhagavad Gita. Lord Krishna said "do your duty, don't expect any reward". 

If you blindly follow it, everybody will give their duty to you, and finally, you will become a narcissistic slayer like me. What is your duty? Where you can expect reward? Where you can not expect reward? That understanding comes from experience and your life's situation and environment.

I am grateful for the monk who built that temple. It helps me to think about the integration of male energy perfectly.

How a narcissist handle a rejection?

 I don't know if this is the right title. This is the next part of this post

Some teachers have ethics. They don't give zero marks to any students as it will make the student believe incapable in studies. I have never given zero when I taught. My shadow side wanted to give zero. Whenever I meet a narcissist, I find it thrilling to give zero to their efforts.

I don't want to have any contact with my narcissistic neighbour. Last time I told her, I could not help her. I know she will try again. Actually, she doesn't need help; it can be solved easily in other ways without depending on anybody. But to improve her narcissistic ability, she asked for help. Anyhow, she tried in a different way yesterday. She sent her father to convince me. I explained logically why I can not help. I don't accept guilt trips or any other tactics.

I really don't understand why people ask for help when it is not necessary?! It is a kind of act to make the other person submissive. If she has a problem, she has to solve it. It is not my duty to help her to solve it. Usually, she and her mom will go for a walk and talk to others. This time they did not come out. That is very strange.

Even my family members wanted to help, but I told them I stopped helping since I don't like her. So no more arguments.

It is always a pleasure giving a narcissist zero out of a hundred.

Q as in Question...

 This is the question mark inside my head recently. I have not found the answer yet. Eventually, I will know the answer, but I don't know when. Maybe when I get all the data points.

Reading this can give you the feel - previously, this is what happened a few weeks ago. lol

People who live as per society's expectations, study well, get a job, and get married - they feel they are zero or clueless about life from their 40s. The fall starts slowly, and when they near 50, they are entirely different personalities.

Groomed from an early age by their parents that money is the only important thing in the world, who made all the choices in their life based on money, who follow the leader obediently in office - how do they start to fall in their career in their late 40s?

I have noticed that they don't have the courage to face any tough situation on their own, and always agree with whatever the powerful person says in their 20s.

They are successful until their 40s. Then their friends' group fall apart, careers start to crumble. From 20 to 40, they are accumulating a kind of arrogance, and it starts to deplete when they are nearing their 50s.

When they look at me, they understand I did not undergo this process. I am different. And it creates curiosity. In the 20s and 30s, I listened with patience, but now I can't waste my time, though I am curious to understand them.

So this post is about question mark, I will write the answers when I find it.

The Lipstick(Cosmetic comedies)...

 Everything started as a small thought. And it's funny. I noticed my brown-coloured face turning to black after a few days of early morning walks. If I walk like this for 10 years, then I cannot recognise myself.

I started to search for sunscreen lotions. Some sunscreen lotions give a white coating to the face. If you have watched 1980s ghost movies, they have painted the ghost's face with a white coating. A similar type of coating it gives. And finding the right type of sunscreen that suits is a task. Then I thought since I can not use sunscreen lotion on my lips, I have to find a lipstick. A mild color which won't be attractive. And I started my lipstick hunt. I ordered a mild colour for Valentine's Day, and I received a blood red colour as if I am going to attend a vampire party. Refer the image below.

Facing all these challenges, I managed to walk with sunscreen and lipstick to protect my face from Sun. As per Newton's law, every action has a reaction. The housewives in my place got inspired by my makeup! 

One day I was thinking while walking that I should buy fluorescent coloured clothes so that I can be seen from anywhere. The next minute, I saw one of the ladies who watches my morning walk wearing a bright red and green colour dress. She was holding a tote and footwear similar to mine with red color lipstick. lol. The thought that came to my mind was, seeing her sudden transformation, her husband is going to doubt her as if she is having a new affair.(My brain has the power to think worst-case scenarios). 

The narcissist in my family was worried. They can't digest my sunscreen and lipstick look. And I saw the impact yesterday. The family narcissist was asking me, Will I get your money and properties when you die. And I said, I am trying for a job abroad. I will buy a fortress there. I won't die here to give my money to you(I tried my best to give an answer that doesn't have any logic in it). That narcissist is the pig and the family in this cosmetic comedy movie. Pig always thinks he is the smart one. 

They all are thinking that I am still that super empath who will sacrifice my life for them. They don't know I have become a narcissist slayer.

Leading lady - A love story...

 I am getting better at titles... lol

This is part 2 of Stranger 

I went to the bank today, and before going there, said the collective consciousness, I don't want a stranger's story today.  I was waiting in the bank, and nothing was happening. It was boring. And I thought, a stranger's story is better than boring. I looked around. I found one interesting thing. Most of the bank's female employees were wearing lipstick. Finding the right shades was a challenge for me. I started to observe the shades. One of the female staff was looking beautiful. A calm, peaceful face. It is very rare, and looking at her face itself gave a calm feeling. And I like her lipstick. I was thinking whether to approach her and ask about the lipstick details.

At that time, the planets and stars aligned. A young, good-looking guy entered the bank. He went to that female staff and asked a dumb doubt and she replied with seriousness.

When my brain has less energy, I get dumb questions. So I thought that guy's brain battery is low. lol...

Then, after a few minutes, he again went to her and asked another dumb doubt. I watched them for few minutes and understood. That young man likes that female staff and he don't know what to do and asking dumb doubts.

My mind voice said, "stupid guy, its better to say it directly. You never know how many opportunities you will get". The young man left.

I started to scold that young man in my mind. And my critic inner voice told me, "after all you don't have the courage to ask the lipstick details, but you are criticizing another person"

I did not hesitate, I went to her, asked her permission to ask a personal question and asked the lipstick details. She took her mobile, find that details, showed her mobile and showed the price and other details. lol... its so simple.

Now I can scold that young man. Stupid guy, instead of trying to think about dumb doubts, it is easy to tell it directly. Or it may become too late. 

This incident has a lesson, and I have to submit a thesis to the collective consciousness about it. lol

Looks like visiting the bank often can give more useful lessons. Very lucky place to give different interesting lessons.

And the lipstick's name is leading lady... I have justified the title.. lol

Every opportunity has risk. Unless you try, you never know whether it is good or bad. Opportunities need lot of hard work to make it work.