Stalker...

 My neighbour's narcissistic mom always waits for me to come out of my home in the morning to talk or troll. Nowadays, I troll her. lol. She asked me, " Have you reached your goal? and I asked, which goal(Now she will try to find out all my goals.) She was very eager to know my weight loss goals and I said I could not talk about it.😇

After a few minutes, I went to the market. A person came to me, introduced himself, and talked. Oh my God, one of my online students' father. It was really sweet as the course was for 2 to 3 months only. I have never met my online students in person, but today met a student's father. It was strange and I had never imagined it.

These 2 incidents happened within a few minutes. 1st only tried to troll and the 2nd one showed appreciation and affection.

I did not meet my narcissist neighbour as she will list out her health problems, thinking I am a gynaecologist. Then I have to study the symptoms for 4 to 5 hours on the internet. I didn't have time for that and avoided it.

Cinema, the drama...

 In recent days on social media, one news item is very popular or getting more views. One famous movie actor decided to stop acting and enter politics. At the same time he have to face divorce and the drama by his father.

I always thought previous generation parents have more ego, narcissistic nature in them. They always perceive their sons and daughters as their extended part and need their guidance to survive in this world. You can not escape from them even if you are 50+ lol.

Actor made some career choices, and the whole media started to blame him. And in addition to that his father said to the press people, my son is innocent, he dont know what he is doing. I am talking about this because I care about him(To me this don't look like care. That too when the actor is 50+. He attended a function with an actress, which triggered his father to give this statement) 

This is an example to know that the most cruel things to a person are done by their parents and family, not by the world.

A person has to survive this type of cruel things, balance their mind and if possible, should find happiness.

Sometimes this type of treatment by the parents makes their children become narcissistic like them.

Anyhow, everybody wont have the awareness to understand it. Ignorance is bliss as long as you stay ignorant. lol.

How individuation happens?

 When a person faced traumatic experience or during mid life crisis, when their hormones are unstable. For males, it is gradual, and for females, the process is fast. One can miss many things in their life, but like death, it is a certainty.

Does everybody face the difficulty? This is where your personality type, family situation and work environment play a crucial part.

From my observation, females who are type A personalities(they are more competitive), who have narcissists in their family or who face a tough work environment, face it severely.

Why?

Before midlife when cortisol levels increase, your body can handle it. But during hormone cocktail times, your body becomes weak. And your body produces the same cortisol spikes even when you are calm. And it starts to affect the body parts. The hormone spikes have the ability to make your first language as your second and vice versa. lol. You would have seen the world with one perspective, and now you get the 360-degree view. And it changes you. You won't be the same person again. This is how a people pleaser became a narcissist slayer.

In this duration, if you develop awareness, the integration will be good. Otherwise, you can become a bitter or cunning person. Though Carl Jung said this as integration of the shadow, I call it as integration of feminine and masculine energy. You will be surprised by your new identity. It is similar to marriage. You give equal(!) rights. I gave 100% rights to my masculine power and changed my personality. Once you get used to the new power, start to integrate both. These things will take years.

The women who succeed this duration have created history in their careers and their personal lives.

At the same time, I have seen people destroying their marriage without knowing they are changing. 

Don't destroy anything; understand you are changing.

The world, you can see it now with a new lens, eyes and experience it differently.

The last visit...

The native place is always tied to grandparents. After them, it is uncles and aunts who live near it. When they pass away, the tie with the native too pass.

I visited my uncle's home last week to pay respect to him. My intuition was saying to me this will be my last visit to my native, though logically it is not correct. When I have a conflict like this, I postpone the emotion till it is time to face it and carry on with my work.

It is my duty, no doubt, I have to visit. I started from home with the conflicted emotion. My face was like ginger eaten monkey's face. lol. The joy of being a narcissist slayer is that my face reflects the emotion. I can not hide behind the people pleaser's face.

Usually, when crossing the landmarks one by one near the native, I would feel joy as a kid. This time, I did not feel any emotion. And my mind started to get cleared. My face started to become normal. This is not hurting, even if it will be the last visit to the native, I thought.

Met my cousins after many years, and had a group therapy session. lol

I thought their house would be filled with so many relatives. And was surprised to see no relatives were there. Planned to spend a few minutes if it is crowded, but spent more time as nobody was there.

Times are changing. And we talked at what point a human starts to change. When a loving father starts to hate his own child? We discussed that in the group. Maybe from middle age we discussed, but still can not pinpoint the exact time as the change process happens gradually.

And I said to my cousins, we share the genes, and we are in mid age, we may also change unless we monitor ourselves. If we all change and meet again after few years it like my updated version meeting their updated version. Did I prove that the title is right? Sigh... lol

Stranger...

 As a narcissist slayer, I have changed certain things. Body language, posture and tone. Otherwise, it will be tough to outsmart them. And I forgot I was an ordinary empath, that sounds like a long time ago.

Feb 7, I was in the bank waiting. Usually, that is like a seasonal depressive movement, and this time I did not feel like that. My situations are the same,  but I have become a narcissist slayer. I was conducting an emotional evaluation with myself to pass the time. And the stranger started to talk to me. I think it is a logical move when a person shares their problems with a stranger. You won't meet them again, and they can't use that information. So I listened. 

First, he listed certain things and said these are my problems. And I said, these are not problems. He looked at me, then continued. He did not refuse or agree. After a few minutes of chat, he listened to his achievements. And I thought, this person is telling lies from the start. Am I looking like a stupid?! His list of achievements is the problem. I did not say anything, and he avoided eye contact. We talked few minutes. Usually, narcissists create an illusion, and they make you believe it. But this person was creating an illusion for himself. And I understood one important psychological concept I read. The human brain creates illusions, stories to avoid pain and to survive. And during that conversation, I saw him understand his illusions. There was a fear when the truth hit him and the pain and then a different emotion in his eyes. My brain searched all recorded emotions and found it an emotion you show in front of God. I really don;t know how to react. I don't know how to smile like a Goddess. After all I watch only ghost movies. lol. I recollected my people pleaser smile. I tried my best smile.

For the readers, so far, it looked like I did something good.

Actually, I learned a few things. When we discuss our problems with certain people, the collective consciousness works and solutions can be felt/realised.

Usually, when a narcissist sees their truth, they get angry. When a wise person sees their truth, they feel grateful.

The stranger, how fast he recovered, showed gratitude, that is maturity, that is humbleness. I don't know whether I will reach that level in this birth.

Vampire Diaries...

 It is not about vampires and humans.  I just gave a catchy title. 😇

Different personalities can't be friends. An empath and a narcissist can't be friends.

My neighbor was very keen to share her troubles. She and her mom were checking whether I am healthy. And finally, she came and said stories about how her shoulder and neck are aching and the physiotherapists she is visiting.  I gave her the expected reply. (I use both hands to type in computer(lol... everybody does that, but those who use computers recently will be typing in one hand). She was asking about visiting places. I did not show interest. 

She took me out saying we will go for half an hour drive and took me for a heavy dinner when I was in diet. In her diary she should have mentioned this incident as I took my neighbor for a surprise dinner. Now she is having the hobby of visiting physiotherapists and keen to introduce that hobby to me. I can't imagine getting treatment for shoulder pain without having it. lol. She may be planning to write in her diary that she took her neighbor to physiotherapist and ease her pain.

Only in series vampire and human can be friends. In real life empath and a narcissist can not be friends. There will be some attraction as they are opposites. 

I should write about women's health next...

Every narcissist has a story...

 As a narcissist slayer, I try to get the story of the narcissist. No need for me to try, they themselves come and tell me. lol...

I love bombed narcissist and got her job cadre, oh, sad. lol.

I reflected back the character of a narcissist to the mother narcissist. And she said, even it is a peon job, it is a government job. I showed a pathetic look in my eyes. See, I don't need lengthy dialogues to slay a narcissist. When I reflect on them back it looks like an attitude. When you do it to others, it is nothing, right narcissist? Only you have a heart, and others don't? Oh, your heart is very sensitive.

The same person who spread rumours of my career now thinks I am showing attitude to them, as I know they are a peon. I won't show my full strength. It is yet to come. They still don't know about my career. lol. I don't have to say anything about her designation to others, but now she will think I have said it to everybody. That is my dear narcissist, my punishment to you. I just know your secret. I won't say it to others, but you will fear I will say it to others. You yourself will say it to others at the right time when the universe reflects back to you.