Cinema, the drama - Part 2

 Here is the Part 1

The actor I have mentioned in Part 1 created a history in politics. The people who joined in the victory were his parents, not his wife or children. And also the actress. My observations was the actor is an introvert, very ambitious and growing as per his midlife. He and his family grew apart. Though others are saying the actor and his wife will live together and won't get divorced, I think it doesn't have logic in it. If a big, happy moment is not shared, then it means that the relationship won't have a main role. 

Actress has more chances to marry the actor as both are ambitious and since they worked together, they should have developed respect towards each other for overcoming the challenges in their field. Any how, I am writing this here to check in the future whether my observations are right.

The rise of the narcissist slayer(Part 2)...

 Changing from a people pleaser to a narcissist slayer is a process and the collective consciousness will test the progress. I learnt one thing, if I am not progressing, I have to learn the lesson once again. There is no escape from it. So I started to learn with a full heart. 

I told my neighbour I can not help her. And I told her the fact, but I made sure that it should be complete opposite of the rumor she spread about me. People gossip to pass the time, and they have their own work. Gossip is not a primary thing. But inside the narcissist's mind, gossip and rumor is the main world.

I know she will think, I will help, though I said I won't. The day she realised I did not help, she panicked. And I was observing. In movies I have seen the bad people, thieves follow a strict code. They won't back stab their team. So I thought the people who gossip with my neighbour will help her. No, they did not. And I realised there is no bond between them. lol. 

I did not expect her to visit me. But she came. She praised the dress I was wearing. And for the first time I saw the respect in her eyes and truth in her voice. Everybody thinks introvert won't say the reason when they cut off people. I always tell politely. 

When she asked me whether I will continue the course in Peacock University, I replied, "the professors are bad. I had very good professors in my college days. Why would I create bad memories about professors? Why would I create new memories that are bad? Why would I replace good old memories with bad memories?"  She thanked me. And I know she understood the answer was meant for her.

I have not seen a narcissist turn into a good person in my life. But a narcissist slayer can control/contain the damage they create. After all collective consciousness also teaches them to evolve.

I saw the whole life choices my neighbour made as a narcissist. I understood her life better than her and understood how many times the collective consciousness has tried to learn the lessons. But it is tough when the mother is a narcissist.

It does not mean I learned my lessons fast. I am a slow learner. I am still sitting in the same classroom learning to slay the narcissist for many years. When I complete it, life will present me with different life choices where I can learn to evolve further.

Part 1 narcissist-slayer

From rags to riches...

 This story is simple. All you need is rumors.  😊

I always wonder why people spread rumours? What will they get from it? And I found the answer recently. In Maths, using a Venn diagram, we solve problems. I used it to find the answer.

Intersection and difference in Venn diagram concepts helped in finding the solution.

Mainly, I used the process of elimination(difference). I observed the specimen for 1.6 years. lol(I refer narcissist like that).

It started casually. One of my neighbours asked for my help, and I helped. Then it started. The rumours about my career. I was confused. I did not understand. Why? After all, I helped. It is not wrong. I tried to fit in. I tried to please as a people pleaser. It did not work.

Then I started to observe my specimen. I did not talk much; I simply observed. And the neighbour asked for my help regularly. I did it. I love bombed and made my neighbour understand that I know what work she is doing. This process needed a lot of patience and waiting time.

Around this time, another rumour spread that I am wealthy. I was still confused.

I stopped all communication, and the process of elimination gave the result. Voila - found the answer. The only communication between the neighbour and me was her asking for my help regularly.

We are nearing the conclusion. lol. It is simple. 

When a narcissist needs something from a person, they create an illusion that the other person is weak and that they are the one who needs the narcissist. Narcissists try to tame the other person so that they can control them by spreading rumour, manipulations, guilt-tripping, gaslighting, etc.

Now I said I can not help further. This time, the reaction will be different. I have already made the narcissist weak. Now I expect the rumour like, she is arrogant which I like.

I made the narcissist look like a fool by making her to spread a rumour opposite to the previous one. Poor, rich and arrogant. Oh my God, it is entirely different from the 1st one. lol.

Life gives us the same problem again and again till we gain knowledge to overcome it. It took me all these years to understand it.

Thanks to my specimen, I have the data points and solutions. 

This is how a people pleaser became a narcissist slayer. 😇

All you need is a narcissist to become "rags to riches". lol.

Peacock University & the learning...

 Last year, when I joined Peacock University, I had a few expectations. And now, after a year, when I review my expectations, I can say it is fulfilled. 

I learned about myself, and more psychological concepts and especially about narcissist which made me a narcissist slayer. 😇

I thought students from the same city would complete the course. But it looks like a few did not attend the exams. As per my understanding, mid-aged students will complete or try to attend all the semester as attending classes will give them some relief from their routine, boring life. 

Students in their 20s and 30s will give importance to their job and will give the course less importance.

But my neighbour and her friend will attend all the semesters due to their family situation. After all, even narcissists need some time away from their family. I understand their pain, lol

Distance education in psychology attracts mostly narcissists as they want to learn how to get hold of the empaths. In the middle age, the people around narcissists gain experience to escape from them, and it will frustrate the narcissist. They will get confused, like, why does nobody admire me nowadays?

Am I supporting a narcissist?! lol 

Marriages and divorces...

 In life, we take many things and relationships for granted. We don't choose parents or family. But we choose our life partners in this generation. Since this change is new, the previous generation doesn't know how to guide their children. In many situations, parents become the reason for the separation between couples.

A few years ago, I was watching an interview on YT by a female doctor. She is cute, and she has her own YT channel. She has a huge fan base because of her way of talking. Clear, bold and very casual. The interviewer was asking about her husband and the Dr was mentioning him very casually without respect. At that time, I thought that marriage wouldn't work.

A few days before, the same Dr, divorced, a little bit depressed, hurt as she did not expect divorce to happen to her. This is what every successful person faces when they experience it. Why me? I am talented!!

She married her school friend, and since they are friends, developed a habit of addressing each other without respect. This type of behaviour should change after marriage. The world will respect a person if the wife shows respect for her husband and vice versa. And when there is no respect, certain people who want to destroy their happiness can use a strategy and move things according to it.

The chemistry that will be in the start of the marriage won't be there after a few years. It should be replaced with "respect" for the marriage to sustain. During midlife, some people will get separated as they will become entirely different people.

Celebrity people who get divorced, most of the time don't get another marriage, another chance, unless they heal from their past relationship. A few years after the divorce, they will act as if they are happy, and then the acting will also be gone.

There is no perfect person. And expecting perfection from the spouse is foolish. As the human life span has increased, if you are okay with being alone, then expect a perfect spouse. Otherwise, be grateful and happy for the entertainment your spouse provides, which includes fights and misunderstandings.

Some grow apart, a few become narcissists, other than that, I think people should take real efforts to sustain what they have.

As time passes, you will change, your spouse will change, and you are dealing with an evolving human which will make life interesting. Nothing will be boring in it.

This is Devilish Angel. Your family counsellor.😇 You can share your problems in comments. lol.

Question became Exclamatory...

 What drives people to be the person they are? And especially a narcissist? Its nearly a year I learned narcissist behaviour. 

Oh boy, that is evolutionary. I became Sherlock Holmes. lol

An empath, a people pleaser, works hard for their family or friends' love. What about a narcissist? And I got a specimen to do the research.  😇 Courtesy: Neighbour

I always get this question when I see her. What is the control her mother has over her? Why she is living with them? What made her to work in the same job without trying to get a promotion?

And the universe was kind enough to give her plenty of opportunities(made me jealous).

These questions made me to collect data to find answers. She joined in the job without completing high school and staying in the same position, rejecting the opportunities to get promotion, has some deep psychological problems.

A narcissist always expects something from others. She is spending more than her income and getting her parents' help financially. Whenever she gets the opportunity to move away from her parents, she rejects it, as she can not survive on her income, as narcissists are grandiose.

And another thing, she can not make real friends. Though she takes a photo with a smiling face with others, nobody is her friend.

And she knows it. 

That is the reason why there is no way to evolve apart from her parents.

It is really funny to hear when she says that she is a social worker. She herself needs rescue. 😊

This knowledge, when used properly, can control a narcissist. That is why I am a narcissist slayer!!!

Part 2 - Crazy things we do in our midlife...

 For some people, everything happens at the right age, at the right time. They get a job at the right age, get married at the right age, buy a house, and have a very comfortable life.  They work towards it from their school days. And how do they feel in their midlife?

One of my cousins moved from native to a busy city and have/had a successful life. But when he visited native, I noticed a few things. He also feels that he is a failure. lol. midlife change(crisis).  And he hates city life. I think people relate their tough period in life to the city they live in and start to like/hate it.

In teen age and in his 20s, when he discusses any business plan, he will be more eager and energetic. Now those things are missing. I started to doubt whether he has a job or not. But I can not ask.

Our belief system changes during midlife. And our life experience teaches us new perspective. It does not mean the past is wrong. Without crossing that, pne can not reach mid life.

It is like attending school to prepare a person to go to higher studies.

When studying master's degree, one can not think UKG education was wrong. lol. Without that, this stage won't happen.

My new hobby is observing people in their midlife change. Very fascinating.