A rare real life story...

 I felt it was better to write it as early as possible instead of thinking about it. I don't know whether I can write fully in one post. 

The Unicorn

Injustice

The lie

The respect

I don't pray or expect anything from God when I go to the temple. I practise happy, content smile looking at the God's face. lol That is what I do daily in my morning walk.

Whenever I see the old lady, I smile and say a few words or wave at her. Last time, when I saw her, she said she could go out if her son took her out. I don't read her emotions. I just know she feels lonely. I understand people can be lonely even if they have family members at home.

Today when I go out for walking I met her. She was trying to decide whether to talk or not. And I said few unimportant words. lol. And she told me her life story. For the first time in my life, I listened without getting emotional(That is the power of being a narcissist slayer).

The Unicorn

She was born in a wealthy family. They had a big house, servants, a lot of properties. And the family's downfall started when her father resigned from his job. Only females from wealthy families got an education at that time. She got a good education and, to generate a steady income, she took a job. It is a rare thing for a female to work in late 1970s here.

She had an elder and a younger brother. She is the Unicorn. A rare female who did not think about her life.

The (unearned) respect

Only 2 were female in the company she worked. She worked in the same company for 30 years. People here are categorized based on their caste. Each caste will do a particular or specialized job. You can say they are specialist in that field. The caste I belong we are good administrators, business people and educators, including a chief minister. 

That company was owned by my caste people, and the manager was also from my caste. She was treated with respect and care. She asked my caste and I replied.

She at once make a gesture with hands 🙏 and said I am very grateful for the people I worked with and recollected her memories. The way she expressed it was like she is imagining/seeing her manager in me. This is the first time, I got a big respect for a thing which I did not do. lol. Getting respect from old people is not new when you have students as your fans. I don't know how I reacted or showed emotion in my face.

I did not do anything to get that respect.

Injustice

Though she earned money for her family, her whole life has become a sacrifice. Both her brothers got married. Her father gave his property to his elder son and he did not take care of his parents. Parents here still believe their sons are the protectors and girls are to be sacrificed.

In 1970, 1980s it is 100% a responsibilty of parents to look for a suitable groom for their daughter. 

I felt it was an injustice done to her by her family and siblings.

The lie

The old lady did not get married. She don't have a son. She don't like to say lie and may be felt it is better to tell the truth and said all these.

The remaining story will be published on the weekend.

My favourite house and the cute dogs.

 During my walk, I observe the architecture of the houses. Some houses are big, spacious, and have a garden. Can I give the title "The house" like how we submit essays in our school days?! lol.

A few houses make me curious too. Abandoned by the owners, though it looks strong and has signs of once thriving with a family in that area, they still have some life force in it.  Maybe the owners went abroad and did not think to come back.

It is rare to see a female name on the name board. That too in the old house. Before 20 years, it was really a big thing. The husband of the family has given equal rights(not exactly equal, as her name was below the male's name) to his wife, it seems. But that itself is a big thing. Not every female gets that recognition. I really admire the person who was bold enough to behave differently from society and put his wife's name on the name board. Many should have mocked him.

Opposite to that house is my favourite house(one of my favourites). They have a few pet dogs too. The colour paint combination of the house is good, and it has parking lots for the servants too. 

I don't know the breed of the dogs, but I like those dogs(one in particular). When I pass that house, I look at the dog, and the dog will act as if it doesn't look at me. Sometimes it gets confused about whether I am looking at the dog or at somebody behind it. lol.

I wanted to find out whether that dog observes me. I did not go near the house for a few days. After a few days I walked pass that house. And the dog was happy; it came running. lol 

Watching/observing is a time-pass activity for animals, especially for cats and dogs.

Mid life singer...

 Hormones change during midlife. The cell repair process will be messed up if you do not sleep well. Everybody says you will wake up at 3 and won't get sleep. Sugar fluctuations and cortisol spikes are the reasons. If you wake up due to a cortisol spike, your heartbeat will be fast, and most will think it is because of the problem they have in life. It is not.

When I go to the temple, the old lady's face will be the same every time I see her. But the lady who sings for half an hour in the temple, her face will be different every time. Sometimes it will be like a ghost has beaten her. And I have seen her changing footwear; this week it is new sandals. Most will think footwear is the reason for their leg pain. It may be a reason, but mostly it is because of the lack of nutrient absorption.

The above picture is not related to the article. lol... related to the title?!

Ladies who come to the temple, if they are in midlife, avoid climbing the steps as it will be painful for them. But the old lady climbs the steps, sits on the floor and gets up, though she has had 2 hip surgeries. I admire her for that. She said she gets pain in her bones if she doesn't walk or walks too much.

The singer lady, after the last interaction, tries to avoid me. lol. So I daily, I try to see her. Sometimes she looks tired, as if a ghost has slapped her. One should stop their performance at midlife. Otherwise, you will get ghost face. Performance takes too much energy for people pleasers and narcissists.

Life is interesting as I troll the people who troll me without much effort. lol

All the above symptoms can be cured if you do your own research.

Practice is a must...

 Hope you have read this

When I wrote that post, I  did not think that I would really get a follower. This week, I did not see her for a few days.  Then I saw her. This time she was wearing an ordinary slipper. Got tired of using sports shoes, I guess. lol

She was not punctual, and I wondered why. She herself said what she was doing. Next time she asked me, I saw you near that temple in your area. You did not come inside but continued walking. Why?" And I told her, I am not very religious to visit all the temples, and this temple doesn't slow down my pace in walking. She was looking for me in other temples. And she said something about her husband. She expected I feel jealous. I looked into her and thought, the people who get divorced will know about it after everybody knows. I also thought something is very wrong in her life as she is spending so much time in the temple. When a person is young, due to society's conditioning, they will think and visit the temple often. After midlife, most of them will understand that God can give opportunities. If we are ready, we will get the benefit. If we are not ready, we will learn a lesson and will get a delayed benefit. I don't know what my eyes reflected as I thought these things when I looked at her and saw the disappointment in her eyes. lol.

After all, in midlife, even our own body and mind have become like a strange thing, and who cares about other people's husbands?! It was like a 3-year-old kid showing another kid, see my toy, my toy is so pretty. lol.

I practice and improve my reactions by facing such people. If anybody tries to make you jealous, remember, they are feeling hollow and void and trying to fill it with others' emotions.

Lip liner sharpener

 I used pencils a long time ago, during my school days. And after so many years, I was trying new sharpeners for lip liner.

It is not easy to find the right cosmetics. You can find it by trial and error. At the same time, one cosmetics which is suitable for a person won't be suitable for another.

If the sharpener is not the right one, then the pencil will get wasted. Youtubers should put a video on finding a good sharpener for lip liners and crayons.

I have found an average sharpener and sharpened my lip liners. My make-up kit is ready.

Cosmetics companies make big money because of useless sharpeners, as the pencil will be over soon, and ladies will buy more. That is why there is no proper sharpener for lip liners and crayons.

I am ready to adopt you...

 The title is translated from the cat's meow. lol. Yesterday morning, when I woke up, a small kitten was sitting on my compound wall. It started to talk to me continuously. I translated it. It was saying I am ready to adopt you. Look, I am very cute. You have so many benefits.

My cat, which is grown now, is standing near me. I don't dare to cross my cat. I am not that brave. lol.

I said to the kitten, I already have a cat. Sorry, you can not adopt me.

Kitten was persistent. After a few minutes, it entered my house, and my cat showed its true colors. It became a warrior in a second and chased that kitten.

I already gave a warning to the kitten, but it needed a lesson.

A few days before, a small puppy also did the same thing. At that time, my cat was not there. I managed to chase that dog away. I was afraid that if my cat saw it, it would kill and eat it. 

My cat is a hunter. Bravest cat I ever had. Each cat I have had has a different personality.

Total freedom...

 I attended a baby shower today. Baby shower for Goddess in the morning. Usually, in temples, the blessed bangles are given to devotees in the evening. It is a belief that all your wishes will come true if you get it. Every year I get it from the temple in the evening. Did my dreams come true? Certainly not.

This year, I changed the tradition I follow. I bought so many bangles and gave the Goddess as an offering. And I was behaved as if I came for my friend's baby shower. Did not go to the temple in the evening to get the bangles.

True freedom is when you did not expect anything from the almighty God. And I got freedom today.

Self dependent with out expecting anything from anybody is freedom. What is freedom in your point of view?

A kind gesture...

 Today I started my morning walk very late as I felt like having a relaxing walk. I reached the temple and saw the old lady praying. I can sense her sadness. Maybe she was crying. I went near her, and I started to pray. Whatever sadness she had, it was interpreted by my presence. I left after a few seconds as I don't want to disturb her, but I know I already stopped her flow state of being sad. I know she is wise enough to see other people's problems. And when she saw me, she would get distracted by imagining the problems I have. lol.

Old people feel sad about a few things. Health, family members who don't understand them and loneliness. I felt like I should give her a warm smile at least. I changed my walking route and walked in the area near the temple. And returned towards the temple. I saw her coming out of the temple. 

She smiled at me and cracked a joke about me coming late to the temple. We both smiled and said a few words. I like this kind of ending to a scenario. We are both kind towards each other at that moment. We did not share our burdens, but gave a smile.

I came home and talked to everybody. I learned a lesson. I don't like to be a person who thinks others don't understand me. Instead, I can understand others. And I can talk to them after scolding or fighting with them. 

Past and present...

 That day I went out of the house. I did not plan where to go. Just walked and went towards the place where I got the sudden feeling to go. At that time, I felt someone looking at me. And I turned. I saw my ex-colleague.  When I turned, she just pretended to look at the other side. 

When I worked with her, she was the calm one among others, won't talk with anybody. I was thinking about what to do. I can talk, or I can continue to walk. I had a few seconds to decide.  And I thought, I don't have anything in common with her now. If I talk with her, she can feel bad for the things that I did not get in my life or life's experience has changed her to have a tough and rude mind. I just walked, did not talk. She is an extreme introvert, and I don't want to give her too many things to think. lol.

With relatives and old friends, I feel this nowadays. After a certain age, we change as per our life's experiences. If there is no bond, then it is just a vacuum. And if there is nothing common to hold the bond, then it doesn't have any future. We can pretend as if we care for others, but truly, we are strangers. I don't spend too much of my energy on such occasions. 

Relatives, ex-colleagues, and friends become strangers, and it needs a strong common factor to develop a bond after a certain age. One of the painful truths about life is that. That is why I am my own friend. lol.

I got a follower...

 Next part of this one

I went to that temple during my daily walk. I like the calm, happy and content smile of that God. How can a God have this kind of smile when he is the commander-in-chief of the celestial armies? Every day I ask him this question. lol So he gave me a few situations to understand it.

Since this is the next part, we will continue with the "another lady". Since she asked a very stupid question of me, and as I know the capacity of her and my own darkness, I started to treat her as an unknown person. People test others' boundaries with stupid questions. Even I can ask her a stupid question, "How many grand children you have?" lol

I went earlier to avoid her, and after a few days, she came earlier wearing specs. I pretended I could not identify her. She pretended that she could not see properly without specs and asked a stupid question. Most females try to copy others to prove they are smart.

She tried to copy my walking shoes. Mine is very comfortable to walk and it can be used as office wear. She bought a sports walking shoe and wears it with socks. I nearly laughed seeing that. In this hot climate, that will be very tough. Then she bought another one, but still it was similar to a sports shoe. 😇

I liked that game, and now I have started to change my ear studs to make her jealous. She came yesterday without specs and tried to talk to me. I replied with one word and gave a slight smile, and did not stop to talk to her. When a person shows their darkness, I don't look for further proof; I accept it on the 1st try.

Her behaviour was a bit strange. She is singing in front of God for 30 minutes daily. It is really tough to find time to walk in the morning, but if she is spending more time outside in the morning means she is not living with her husband. May be separated or divorced, or applied for divorce. But these divorced ladies wear all the ornaments like a married woman to avoid society's trolls.

Her singing is not good, so praying to God is a bit tough. But I will find a way to overcome it. Maintaining balance irrespective of the situation is what I am learning now.

At this rate, I have to plan what to wear for a walk the previous day itself to save time.

See the image, anything special in it?

 This is what I thought when I saw that lady's reaction.

As I don't like to be followed by goats and cows, I changed my walking route to residential areas where I can walk in a place with trees on both sides. And that is how I found that temple.

I usually smile when I see any female in the temple. After a few days of smiling, usually people like to go to the next level. That is talking about why they visit the temple and all.

One old lady asked me why you are visiting this temple when you have temples near your house. And I said here God's face is beautiful. That's why. lol. Then I added that seeing God's face, my mind becomes calm. The old lady blessed me. 

Another day, another lady entered the temple when I was leaving. She looked at my legin and I could see her jealousy. She wanted to start a conversation and asked what is your husband doing? You don't have to be Sherlock Homes to know whether a female is married or not. I said I am not married. I understand she asked that question to make me upset. At that time a female monk came near us. She should have thought to rescue me. We asked the temple open and close time from her. Then that lady asked me what work you are doing. I answered in a few words and said I have to start my work in a few minutes and see you some other time. I made her feel that I was financially independent, but she is not.

I find a similarity between my neighbour narcissist in her.

Narcissist always start with a question to prove that they have something special which we don't have. Though I did not think too much at that time, I made her feel she didn't have everything. lol. That is why I am a narcissist slayer.

Anybody can buy and wear a legin, what is there to feel jealous? I don't understand.

I changed my time slot a bit earlier to visit the temple so that I will be free from these talks. But once in a while I plan to visit when they visit as it is really interesting to see people's emotion when they see a stranger.

Myths or Facts?

 Sometimes I think a lot. Now also I was thinking what to write as I have so many things. But I can choose only a few.

I learned a lot about my personality type from the internet. It says my type of people are visionaries, long-term thinkers. I don't know whether I think like that. But I thought, let me try it anyway. I selected my specimen(naricssist neighbour for that). lol.

As usual, she only talks about something. And last time she asked about Peacock University. I told her that I am trying for this job at my company, so I cannot continue my studies at Peacock University. I am already in that job; she doesn't know that, though. I will tell stories about my hardwork in getting qualified for it if she continues to communicate with me. And finally I will tell her I got the job. This is how I think in the long term. 😊 Start by using this technique to look like a Long term thinker/ Visionary. It is like copying a technique, till you gain expertise in it to have a uniqueness.

Everybody likes my personality type?!

Nope... A big no. Most people are insecure about themselves. And when they come near me, they can feel they are less than me and start to hate me in seconds, especially a narcissist. My growth as a person developed when I accepted the fact that I can not please everybody and feel okay if a person doesn't like me.

Did babies and animals get attracted to me and calm when I am near?

Yes, as they see me as a potential candidate to dominate. 😇

When I started walking as a daily ritual, I walked in the places where goats eat grass. One day all the goats started to follow me. I thought, oh my God, goats are thinking I am Jesus. lol. Most of the pictures I saw, Jesus was holding a goat in his lap. 

As the goats are following me, I feel like a pied piper. I wanted to check whether the goats can hear my mind voice. I told myself, "I had mutton yesterday. I can eat you too" No reaction from them. lol 

Then I understand, they are watching me daily and they can identify me. Since I am familiar to them they followed me to know how it feels to walk without grazing.

My personality type is humble

Yes. Even goats can identify me. But I can see them as black sheep, white sheep. And goats are more brilliant than me in a very few ways, as I can not identify them by their face. 😇 This way, the Universe humbles me always.