Food with love...

 Nowadays cooking has become a tedious work. And the interest for cooking is reducing. People like to get food from outside. Food is the basic need for human and I wonder why people want to depend on somebody for it!!! 

Since I am not from Rockefellar family, I  cook whenever I have time and give priority to it. And it helps me in the weight loss journey as I have to cook healthy food.

When you are in diet, treat your energy as currency. To reduce weight, we have to take less calorie food and in less quantity. I dont get mood swings because of diet as I manage my limited energy level. If you are stressed, weight wont reduce. Journaling helps me to reduce stress.

Cooking is a self care routine. And my interest in cooking increased when I realized its a form of self love. Who can cook food for you with love other than you?

Synchronicity... From dream to reality

 I was having a repeated dream about sitting in the exam hall alone with out knowing the answer. I still can feel the chilling fear in my body. I was wondering why I get such dream. Then I got opportunity to join psychology course. Do you think that dream came true? No and yes... Keep reading.

One of the main reason to join the course was that dream. Let me face the fear which I felt in the dream was my thought. 

When I was having dinner with my class mates, I felt the deja vu. I saw my old senior collegemate having dinner on next table. The food we ordered also bought deja vu. So I understood the test by Universe has started. I was thinking what I have to learn now? I started to observe my class mates and the things happened around me. And that time only I understood completely how a narcissist will behave and how to handle them. 

Did I pass the test? Yes, I am learning to set boundaries now.

And I dont get that exam dream nowadays. Lol... Sometimes dreams are crypted, but still it has clue.

What title to give?!

 I was watching you tube videos about introverted intuitives to know more about myself. One thing was funny. In most videos they where saying, dont try to hurt introverted intuitives, they will hurt you strategically. they wont forget it as if we dont have any other work. I personally think when a person is bad and hurt others, they will behave like this to most people and eventually they will suffer because of their actions. In that case we just have to wait and watch. No need to do anything to take revenge.

Some times it may look introverted intuitives have taken revenge, but in reality, they never have a clue about it and Universe have used them in that process.

Life is short. And I am the only important person to me. 

I got this knowledge hearing people's opinion after they come from a funeral. Nowadays people are frank. If a person has less income and die, nobody in their family drop a tear for them and nobody miss them. When a rich person dies, people will act as if they miss them. Thats it. Nothing much.

Your life is well lived if you are true to yoursel, took care of you and do things which made you happy. Nothing much. Nothing less.

Rise above...

 When in any area of your life, you hit rock bottom and dont have hope, list out the things you think you can not do. Choose one thing from the list and work on it.

The progress of your chosen thing will give you confidence.

And when you complete it, you will gain the strength to rise above in the area where you hit rock bottom.

Sounds logical, right?!

Reversing the concept...

 The knowledge I gained in Peacock University(changed the name) is vast. Understaffed, rephrased self study material, narcissist professors and narcissist students(lol) what an explosive combination to create a powerful impact. Lethal combination happens when all the planets align.

Well it had a strong impact on me. And I learned a lot. Health psychology - I used it in a practical way.  From the lecture - " Our body need less food as we age. Extra energy will be saved in body as it remembers how our ancestors survived with out food. And also our body remembers our highest weight and it always try to create new record it in as our brain thinks more energy saved in body is health. You can never reduce weight" I remember the I know all type smile of that professor.

My brain eliminated the threat and found a new way to reduce weight using what they said. I just have to make my body remember how it was when I was a kid.

I did not cut any thing. Just reduced rice intake, added more vegetables, have small meal 4 times a day.

Reduced my weight 6 kgs in 3 months. Saving the secrets to myself as reducing weight techniques can make so much money. lol.

Everything can be used for good or bad if you know how to use it.

Collective consciousness...

 Carl Jung said, make the the unconscious into conscious. Why we have to do it? The emotions we suppress, is in our unconscious mind. And it comes out in an unexpected way. If a person is too kind to everybody instead of showing unkind actions when it is necessary creates a shadow which is cruel. That shadow emerges with force in unexpected time. The controlled anger which is suppressed without expression at the right time, starts to punish the same person itself. 

Carl Jung said becoming whole is the purpose of life. He said when you work on your shadow and balance it, your true potential will come out.

The purpose of life is different for different people. Like that a person can become whole in other ways too. A mother becomes whole by her connection with child. A couple become whole when they accept each other with whole mind. And for others it is shadow work. Some lucky people will get all the three.

A person who became whole can connect with collective consciousness. Its a huge database and you can collect any data from it. An introverted intuitive person can also connect with the collective consciousness. 

Narcissist Vs Big narcissist... lol

 I found one thing once I started to read books about narcissist. Most of the books are written by the victims and who still stay as victims. What you can learn from it?!

These are from my personal experience. Narcissists weaknesses are they wont see the big picture, always try to boost their image and talk too much, which makes them create enemies and they are very bad in managing finance. They try to dominate and in that process, eliminate good team members and few less talented will stick to them which makes them to fail in team work. They will lag in learning new things as they dont allow others to express what they know.

Easy way to win a narcissist is to encourage them in what they do. They spend time, energy and money in that process. Whether they succeed or not is not our business. We can be free from their attention and thats the win. Lol...

And seeing a narcissist trying to win another is fun...

Books...

 I dont know whether people read books to know how to handle a narcissist. But I am doing it. How seriously one will study for exam? Now is the time to do it. I am amazed by the Universe giving me the opportunity to train me to face toxic people. 

It will look tough at the starting, but I will sharpen my skills from each experience.
Opportunity, test, training has started... Time to make the Devil to show with Angel's face!!!

Ready...

 Lol... Its about how to play with narcissist. Some times we can not avoid to spend time with them.  To entertain myself on such occasions, what I have planned to do is, when they praise about themselves, for example "I drive car very well?!" , I will talk about costly cars, what costly car my close friend is having.. or have you participated in any car race?! I expect more from you type discussion.

Never ever accept or acknowledge their achievements(so called achievements)

Next time seeing me, the narcissist have to run.

I am ready with detailed study about U. Are you ready to face me?!

Purpose of life...

 Everybody at some point in life think, "what is the purpose of my life?" General question but it has different answers for different people. Also in each step of life, the answer get unfolded layer by layer.

For example an empath born to a narcissist parent will find it tough to differentiate good and bad people. They under go the narcissist parent's control, dominant act, gas lighting, love bombs. It makes them to feel the world will be like this. A narcissist parent dont allow their child to shine in any area of their life.  Child's life is doomed. But may be if the child at certain age understands about narcissism, then there will be a chance to escape. So its not possible in our culture. May be in abroad.

Why an empath and narcissist are in the same family? It is to make them to understand their weakness and transform. It will be a painful process. But once the empath transforms, then they start to grow in handling people very well.

Now the empath's life purpose is to become a narcissist slayer. Narcissist people will stand in queue to get sweet punishments from the transformed empath. The power of the transformed empath lies in how fast they can identify and take action.

It always make me laugh when people think their life's purpose is to serve others(Suits you if you are a narcissist person). lol.

Your life's purpose starts at the place/home where you were born. Everybody's purpose is different. Mine is unique and special. I am the Devilish Angel. I have seen the two extreme sides of me, yet I try to stay in the middle.

Dreams came true?!

 People dream when they sleep. But my dreams are different. I see the future in it. So I journal it seriously for few months in 2020 dream journal. When I checked it now, I was curious to see mostly it came true or coming true. Intuitive personalities see patterns and can see it as dreams as per science. But some things can not be explained by science I think.

But one thing is very different. In 2020 my maturity level was less and the feeling towards any incident was intense. Now when the things which I saw in dream  happened in real, I did not get emotional that much.

So the lesson is as you gain maturity day by day, you can face anything with less emotion.

Now I dont get dreams, but gained new power. When I wake up, a song lyrics will come in my mind.

I have started to note it down as dream song journal. lol. 

Jealous of narcissist?!

 I have been learning so many things about narcissist recently. The information is negative about them. I  have sharpened my skills to find them earlier and set boundaries.

Positive things about narcissist : They take care of them very well. Healthy body, active brain. Since they have to manipulate people, they need sharp brain, so they give importance to their health. Their ego get boosted by their flying monkeys(technical term for their victim... lol). Their love bomb(actions) are impressive which makes their victims to trust them.

Why I am jealous? My ego level wont raise even if the whole world praise me. For them its easy. They give high priority to themselves.

Note 1 : You can not escape from a narcissist unless you have healthy body and active/sharp brain.

Note 2 : Observe the narcissist behaviour when they are with the flying monkey(ie their victim which can be friend or family member). It will be obvious about the manipulation, dominating character.

Mystery & Universe

 Universe works in mysterious ways. Most of the time if we observe it well, we can see the patterns. Every situation has some learnings from it. So when I wanted to study psychology Universe conducted me a test.  I developed self worth, self esteem to some extend and Universe sent me a narcissist person to test it. Every human being has some percentage of narcissism. If it is less than 35 %, then good. Above 80 % means its dangerous to others. The person I met will be having above 90%

First I thought its superiority complex as there was so much self praise. I didnt mind it. Then same self praise in few hours(now it was boring). 

Then comes the manipulation. How that person is twisting the events and attack other people's emotions. It happens automatically in few seconds, so that person had lot of experience in it.

Job nature was clerical, but since a narcissist will be living in am imaginary level, the behaviour was like a CEO. lol...

Controlling nature - Only slaves are allowed in narcissist world.

They dont have empathy. They cant understand or recognize other's emotion. 

So how will you handle this? That was the test. Though the event was initiated by the narcissist, I wrote the ending clearly. I just took control and treated the narcissist as a kid directing to do this, do that etc... lol

I just made sure it will make look like a villian.

Reduced the communication, proved that I am not a people pleaser, I am not nice, can be rude when it required.

I love to watch ghost movies.  I love it when it has part 2 part 3 etc...

But I dont want narcissist part 1 part 2 etc.... It was scary actually ... hahaha... Though I acted with courage...

But I learned one thing. Self love should be strong to beat and escape from a narcissist.

And I said to the Universe, I have passed in the test. I didnt hesitate to take charge of a narcissistic person.

When you encounter such people understand it is a test by Universe, develop your self esteem, and expand your friends circle, find a support group. Thats what I did.

  

Narcissist...

 Met a different personality recently and got scared. lol. Scared is because of the manipulation done by that person. Started to collect information and finally understood that person is a narcissist. So now learning about how to handle a narcissist. 

As of now I am following " be silent, no action, reaction, no communication" ...

Next ?!

 Sometimes in life we get clarity about the upcoming test from our fellow human beings. Its aways tougher than the previous one.

Will it be a govt employee with less work in office and time pass with doing politics among the colleagues?

Lol

Yes, I am getting ready!!!

How can I describe that person? Control freak in a single word.

Life's test...

 Life test us in unexpected time. Most of the time we wont have time to plan the ways to handle it. Decide and act in few seconds type of things will happen. But if you pass these tests with flying colors, it means you have gained maturity and it improves your confidence.

I handled such consecutive things in life recently. I always give benefit of doubt to the other person. If they fail, then it is like a chess game. My move will be different and unexpected. Opponents wont even realize they are trapped.

When you think a person is not good or harm you, dont try to please them. Most people think  tyrant type of people are superior and try to please them, try to get good name from them which will never happen. Bad people are bad because its their nature. They will behave in the same cruel way with everybody especially towards the people who are soft.

I  made my tyrant aunt as comedy aunt in few moves. I didnt feel victory or superior. I just got opportunity to test my skill sets. lol.  Thats all. And I move on. I am grateful to the Universe  for giving such opportunities and it made me believe about myself. My heart is filled with gratitude. 

Test is completed successfully.

Miss my friend

 I miss my friend very badly for few days. A friend who made me to focus on work, understand me without expressing it, tells my faults boldly, and mostly give the right answer when I need. 

Universe where are you hiding my friend?!!

Tyrant Aunty

 I am preparing for my travel for studies. I was planning to stay at my Aunty home initially, but changed it last minute. As a kid I was scared of her. She was very cruel towards other kids but affectionate towards her own children. I thought old age should have changed her, but she did not.

My conversion was like this in phone.

Aunt : how you will go to University from my home?

Me : Cab

Aunt : no, go by bus. Start early from home.

Seriously??!!

More over I got a bad dream today morning and woke up with slight fever. I remember the voice saying, " You are in purgatory" in my dream. So after hearing my Aunty's talk, I have confirmed may be my dream is saying about her. lol...

But I plan to visit her in weekend, so that I can blog about her. hahaha...

I just want to over come the fear of my Tyrant Aunt. 

This is how it is going to end...

 Last night I calculated expenses to complete the course. And decided I can not afford it. Its fun when I get the schedule for classes today. 

The people with whom I am planning to attend the course are rich, travel in AC 1st class only. My finance allows sleeper class. 

So I know, this is how it is going to end...

Know what? I did not consider this factor. And I realized it now only.

Distance Education

 Most people think distance education is cheap and easy to learn. Truth is it is not. I got study material which is not at all relevant to the text books given in syllabus. So I have to study both. Fee is less but when you travel to attend classes, stay and food costs more.Thus distance education is costly if you are far away from the place you are learning.

If you are in calendar year batch, your semester 1 & 2 exams will conducted at the year end. Continuos exams with out holidays. Oh My God!!!

I know all these things after joining only.

I concentrate on the things on which I have control. So I study.

This is how your wish will look like...

 Itharkku thaabe aasai pattai balakumara song is playing in my mind.

So what happened?

I got study material and was very much disappointed by it.

Study material was prepared by 5 to 6 professors, but they forgot to prepare from the text books mentioned in  the syllabus.

Text books are easy to read and this study material is like a drunken man's rambling.

I am very much disappointed.

So I was thinking how they will take class? From the study material or from the text book?!!

Every bad thing has some good effect.

After studying that study material(!!!) my work related study is looking easy and simple... lol

Chinna chinna aasai - 1 Review

 Some times we wish for things to happen, but at that time we get second thoughts. Wish dont have logic(my wishes are like that, but after happening it will be like I perfectly planned for it with future outlook!!!) I am not that wise, but my intuition is wiser.

So instead of wasting time to get confused, I eliminated the worries about "things which are not in my control" and allowed the wish to happen.

1st chinna chinna aasai - is happening...

I thank The Universe for making it happen.

Chinna chinna aasai - 1 latest updation

 I write when I have negative emotion. 

Good news first. I got admission but now confused about joining.

Confusion is good or bad?!

Can I join and try for one semester?

I have to depend on others to attend the classes.

I need counselling to join psychology course, lol.

Friends

 I am always gifted with good friends. I can say its a boon or blessing.

I recently got a new friend. That friend is the reason for my weird thoughts.

Usually my friends are straight forward. This friend always beat around the bush.

Usually my friends ask directly if they want to clarify. This friend cross varies by asking tricky questions or being sarcastic.

I always give people benefit of doubt. But that too has some limit, right?

Usually my friends respect me. This friend acts like giving respect.

My usual friends are very much different from this new one.

How can I call a person friend, when they make me angry?

Certainly not. 

I dont want your friendship and I dont expect anything from you.

.

Wise(weird) thoughts - 2

 When others ask me something or need something from me, I have never felt like this. That too when people expect me to do which I dont want or compell to do. So I thought what is difference between them and beggars? 

Beggars ask for money. Others are asking money nicely, ask your hard work, your talent, your company and especially your time. Then in what way they are different from beggars?

You are rich when you dont want anything from others. In that case I am super rich.

For the people who have money, their time and money are the most valuable thing.

For the people who dont have money, time is the only valuable thing. Infact it is more valuable than a rich peron's time.

Wise(!) thoughts 1

 Most people are wise. But I am average and get wise once in a while. May be I get wise thoughts rarely.

"To live to the fullest one should tisk it fully". And many take less risks. Like standing in the beach and let the waves wash your feet. Is that taking risk? If you swim in a sea with whales you will be alert and prepare yourself to face it. Or you can die also.

Life well lived.

Precious time!!!

 Everybody knows time is precious. Even I know that. But when I realise that? When my "Me time" is breached. Whoever it is, I dont like them, even though they dont know its the time I allocated to myself. When thinking about time, how much time I should have wasted for others?

Hmm. sounds sad. Time for others is more than Me time. So no more time for others. Only some grace time for the people who like me or act they like me. Lol.

Some people are afraid of dying alone. But I am not. I like being with Me. Pasr time rectified by this, only Universe can understand this line.

Happy ending is waiting. Keep writing.

Chinna chinna aasai(small wish) - 1 updation

 When the reason for a wish gets invalid, the wish also fades away. My wish started to get fade away. Also it is some what like it is no more my wish. 

In one day what a change. 

How reasons got invalid?

I can learn psychology by reading books, no need to enroll in a course. Friendship can be developed in other ways too. Since I am lazy, why to travel?

So my wish got busted by myself. Even if I got admission, I think I wont join.

Happy ending. Keep writing.

Chinna chinna Aasai(Small wishes) - 1

 We get so many wishes in our day today life. Whether our wishes get fulfilled or not, we keep on wishing for so many things. We take efforts to make the wish to come true when we are serious about it.  I thought of blogging things which I wish and update whether it happened or not.

Wish 1 : To study MSc Psychology

Reasons : I have/had an attraction towards psychology from my college days as humans looked like Alien to me(Now I understood I am the alien, not others though ... hahaha).

I got a new friend and she is planning to study psychology. Friendship develops when people have common interest and goals.

I want to test how my brain works if I study after so many years. Exams and assignments will be fun.

I can travel saying I am going to study...

I can be busy on weekends..

What can go wrong?

My application can get rejected as my certificate are not so clear and looks dim.

So I will update soon whether this wish got busted or fulfilled soon.

More wishes to come.

Keep writing Devilish Angel. It needs courage to say my wish didnt happen to others.

Gift to myself

 I love colours. And gifted myself these to draw. A new start...

Real or Reel

 I am blogging after many years and thinking about it rewind so many things. And it was interesting.

We always show the positive side of our life in social media, not the painful part.  Then how it will help to face the problems in life?

Looking back the things which were important that time is not important now. At one moment certain thing may look like important but it will lose its priority as time goes. This important thing keeps on changing through out our life. 

So now, what is important to you at this moment?